The first revision that I would like to address comes from Chris Sobral’s first comment on the rough draft of my literacy narrative:

This comment was made in regards to a quote I had put into my narrative that was said by my teacher, Mr. Gleason. He had said, “You had plenty of opportunities to dig yourself out of this hole…” To elaborate on this, I could add some examples of chances that he had given me at the time. This could show the reader how much I truly did not care in the year before. He had assigned some struggling students a research essay on any topic, including me. I started to do it but never finished. I could also talk about the other times he gave me more time to work on certain assignments but just ended up either not doing them or did not finish them all. Including these details could give the reader a sense of where I was starting. This brings me to the next comment that I would like to touch upon.

In another comment made by Chris, he mentioned how I could talk about how I had changed:

In this comment he asked if there was “anything specifically that you changed while motivated?” This was a good question, it made me think about it for a bit. I decided that I could add some material about the changes that happened within myself. I made the decision to do it for myself, I wanted to better myself. I can talk about the changes that were made within me, as well as those around me. I could talk about how and why I did the work (for myself). It could clarify to the reader more about how much I have changed since the start of the narrative.

Finally, I would like to talk about a comment made by Aidan McCarron:

Aidan made this comment in regards to the anxiety and depression that was mentioned in my narrative. I had questioned on whether or not these things would get in my way. I can see where Aidan was getting at because this was one of the first times I had even mentioned my anxiety and depression. So him suggesting to add more detail about it to the beginning made a lot of sense to me. I feel like it would connect the narrative a little bit more; giving some background to the narrative and tying it in when I had to repeat the class mentioned in the narrative. This will make things flow a bit more smoothly, giving a positive impact to the overall literacy narrative.